


half of my soul

by emmaswoodhouse



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Mid-Canon, joe is dramatic and i love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25354276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaswoodhouse/pseuds/emmaswoodhouse
Summary: The night after they escape from Merrick, Joe does not sleep.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 19
Kudos: 440





	half of my soul

**Author's Note:**

> you guuuys, THESE TWO. i haven't been able to get them out of my head all week and it seems neither can any of you - this tag had like two pages only a couple of days ago and it's growing exponentially by the MINUTE! i love it, please keep it going and enjoy my contribution to this wonderful fandom! also STREAM THE OLD GUARD ON NETFLIX, we need our sequels!!
> 
> the title is, of course, from "The Song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller

The night after they escape from Merrick, Joe does not sleep.

He thinks about Andy and what her newly discovered mortality means for them. Everything has changed now, their dynamic forever shifted. Andy has always been the strongest one, the one they all relied on. But now she was also the most vulnerable.

He thinks about Nile and how they have to teach her everything from scratch. For the first time in 200 years they have someone who’s brand new to this life and Joe knows how difficult it can be. It is a distant memory, but he remembers. Leaving everyone and everything you know. Trusting strangers. It didn’t come easy. To any of them.

He thinks about Booker. _That fucking bastard._ Joe knew he was lonely and yearned for a regular life more than the rest of them, but he never thought he would do this to them. They were a family. More so than any actual flesh and blood could ever claim to be. How could he betray them like this?

But Booker's words from the lab still echoed in Joe’s mind hours later. He feels he wouldn’t be able to shake them for a long time.

_“You and Nicky always had each other.”_

Joe turns to his side and watches the love of his life sleeping, once again blown away by how beautiful he is, as if it’s the first time he’s seeing him. Every time feels like the first time. His breath catches in his throat, heart pounding wildly with adoration and eternal devotion. Just like the first time.

From the moment Nicky first drew his spear into his heart all those centuries ago, Joe knew he could never live without him again. Those blue-green eyes staring into his soul, setting every nerve ending in his body on fire. He didn’t feel the pain from the stab half as strongly as he felt the weight of that stare, tearing into him, promising him _something_. Joe didn’t know what it was at the time, but now he understood. This man was his forever, his eternity, his heart and his soul, his very _essence_.

Nothing mattered without Nicky. The world could burn and Joe wouldn’t care if he knew Nicky was safe. That he was still with him, still _his_. After every single one of his hundreds of deaths over the years, he’s had only one thought in his head each time he awakes.

“ _Nicolo_.”

His body’s instant first reaction always to reach out, to find him, to wake him up and make sure he’ll open those beautiful eyes and look at Joe again. Nicky’s way of saying “I’m here. We’re together. Always.” Just like the first time.

Just as he’s looking at him now.

“I think we should forgive him.” Nicky says quietly, voice still low and deep from sleep, immediately catching what Joe was thinking about. 900 years together will do that to you. They have no secrets from each other. Even if they tried, they couldn’t hide anything. It’s all written on their faces. And they know each other’s faces better than their own.

Joe smiles fondly and reaches out to move strand of fair hair from Nicky’s face, the first beams of the morning sun turning it golden.

“Your kindness will be the end of us all.” Joe means for it to sound like a negative, but Nicky knows him better than that. His kindness is one of the best things about him. His giant, unrelenting, overflowing, compassionate heart. _God_ , Joe loves him so much he could burst.

“He’s family. We can’t just leave him behind. Regardless of what he did, he will always be one of us.” Nicky turns his head to kiss Joe’s palm. Joe’s heart skips. Like it’s the first time.

“I know, my love.” Joe tries to stand his ground but he knows he’s weak against those eyes. “But we can’t just let it go and move on. Not when he put us through hell. Watching you on that table, it was just…” He squeezes his eyes shut, the mere thought of being completely helpless to stop those people from hurting _his_ Nicolo, his _everything,_ it was too much to bear. Too much to simply forgive.

 _“Amore mio.”_ Nicky whispers close to Joe’s face, like a prayer. “I am here. I am safe, we’re all safe.” He takes Joe’s face in both hands and presses a feather-light kiss to his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, my love.”

Joe knows it’s an empty promise. None of them know which time they die will be the last time. Especially now when they have Andy's ticking clock above all their heads. But he still can’t help but believe it. Believe that when their time comes, it will be the same time for them both. That they will leave this world _together_ , as they are meant to be. As they’ve always been. He couldn’t face any other reality. Life without Nicky is no life at all.

“Neither am I.” He promises back. Nicky smiles faintly, pushes him back down on their bed and wraps Joe’s arms around him. Joe holds him tighter than ever. He’s never letting go. Not even after their time comes. This is how they will go out. Side by side, impossible to tear apart. Together. Just like the first time.

Joe knows Booker is right. He and Nicky are unbelievably lucky to have this. He’s lived long enough to be sure that nobody else has what they have. Even the greatest love stories throughout history had their endings. But he and Nicky were still here, falling in love all over again each and every morning.

So maybe Joe will have to reconsider the five centuries of solitude he wanted to sentence Booker to. But he’s not going any lower than two. The bastard still had to pay for nearly tearing his soul in half.

Back when he was younger, in his old life, Yusuf always felt like a part of him was missing. He wanted nothing more than to fight for his God but it never felt right. He never felt like he understood his purpose. He was fighting with his head but never with his heart.

Until the day when he saw a pair of blue-green eyes across from him on the battlefield. And suddenly something fell into place.


End file.
